Book Review: The Macho Paradox

After reading this review in the journal of Christians for Biblical Equality, I had to go straight to the library and get this book. In the end, I was not disappointed. I've tried to write this review several times and failed because it's difficult to narrow down what I would like to say about this book. The whole of this book blew my mind. The pieces it connected were so familiar to me that I couldn't believe I'd missed the whole picture. And now the pieces are many and the whole picture is... difficult to describe.

One of my favorite quotes is from the movie "Anna and the King." Jodi Foster's character is teaching school and she says, "Most people don't see the world as it is. They see it as they are." Unfortunately I don't think I can describe this book as it is, so I will have to describe it as I am.

Most people know that I was in a verbally/emotionally/sexually abusive relationship before I married Jeff. Because of my past, women regularly share their stories of abuse with me. And because of their sharing I have begun to realize the scope of the effects of men's violence against women. When I was younger I thought that physical violence against partners, molestation, incest and rape were rare. Now I know better. (To give you an idea of the scope, you probably know more victims and perpetrators of men's violence than you do left-handed people.)

I've also long known about the vast pornography industry, which is often referenced as "bigger than Hollywood." I had no idea, however, that pornography is mostly violent and getting more so all the time. Apparently what sells in porn is not simply sex, but men's sexual violence against women.

Finally, I've had years of experience with subtle sexism -- objectifying women, ignoring women, and "keeping women in their place" in and out of the church. I've been told my many a well-meaning Christian about how women are equal-but-not-equal, and as such are intended to have less decision-making power than men in church and at home. And media portrayals of women don't help the situation at all.

I had never put these three things -- men's violence against women, pornography, and subtle discrimination against women-- together. It makes sense, doesn't it? What do they all have in common? A low view of women. A view that women are essentially different than men in that they don't want or deserve respect and will willingly give it up to gain approval. A view that women exist for the benefit of men. In fact, statistically, men who believe in "traditional gender roles" are far more likely to view pornography on a regular basis, to believe rape myths such as "Every woman secretly wants to be raped" and "When a woman says no she really means yes," and to physically abuse their wives.

In The Macho Paradox, Jackson Katz puts together a clear and convincing picture of a society that subtly and not-so-subtly promotes men's violence against women. He demonstrates how our culture defines masculinity as inherrently violent and femininity as "less than" and weak. Is it any wonder that the United States is more dangerous for women than any other industrialized nation in the world?

The Alyssa Review gives The Macho Paradox five stars for opening my world to a reality I'd never recognized, and I give Jackson Katz all the kudos in the world for being a man brave enough to stand up for equality for women.

Definitely a must-read.