Beloved

"Let me start by telling you that many of the people that I live with hear voices that tell them that they are no good, that they are a problem, that they are a burden, that they are a failure. They hear a voice that keeps saying, 'If you want to be loved, you had better prove that you are worth loving. You must show it.'

But what I would like to say is that the spiritual life is a life in which you gradually learn to listen to a voice that says something else, that says, 'You are the beloved and on you my favor rests.'"

--Henri Nouwen

Jeff and I read an article by Henri Nouwen as a part of a class at our church a few months ago and I have never forgotten it. In the article he said that spiritual disciplines just boil down to making space to hear God's voice telling you that you are the beloved. Sounds so wonderful to bask in the glow of God's love like that, doesn't it?

You would think that would be easier than it is.

This week, I'm sorry to report, hasn't been all about basking. In addition to the glorious moments spent hearing God's voice calling me "Beloved," I've spent a lot of moments hearing voices that call me, "Exhausted," "Utilitarian," and (at my worst), "Worthless." Those voices can become such a spiral because when I feel worthless and that my only value is in what I do (as in, "Just shut up and make dinner."), I don't make room for the most important voice.

It's a loving whisper amid the demanding shouts of, "Prove that you are worth it."

But this morning, I heard it.