Our Belated Birth Story

As I start this post, our beautiful baby girl is exactly 2 weeks old. How time flies when you're falling more deeply in love every day!

Anyway, I thought I should at least attempt to write our birth story down while it's still fresh in my mind. The only problem is that I don't think it was fresh in my mind when I was going through it! But I've had a lot of requests for it, so I'll do my best. It was a long labor and it will be a long post. For this I apologize -- feel free to skim or skip! But some of our friends are in the "birthing crowd" and interested in details, so here they are.

First, Sunday. I remember Sunday very well, because labor was hardly more than very regular Braxton-Hicks contractions. They were annoying but didn't really hurt, but the fact that they were so regular made us think it might be the beginning of "the real thing." We were still light and happy, playing Yahtzee to get our minds off of hoping and pass the time. We called our midwife and Eliecia to give them a heads up, and decided to try to get some good sleep.

Sleep eluded me. The contractions, although still not very painful, were much worse when I was laying down. So it was like someone was pinching me every 5 minutes all night. I got no sleep at all, and ended up calling Eliecia and Sue in the middle of the night. We just didn't know what to think -- they were definitely 5 minutes apart, lasting a minute apiece, for at least an hour. But they just weren't that painful. Sue said to call if it got really bad, but other than that to try to sleep and call in the morning.

Still couldn't sleep at all. But Sue came by in the morning and suggested Tylenol pm. I took that and was able to sleep for like 4 hours. It was wonderful, but not enough. Sue came over again as the contractions were getting just a little more intense, and we had a discussion. Basically, we could either work to ramp labor up, to get the party started, or to dial it down and try to get some sleep. I was still very tired and told her I would definitely prefer to try to dial it down, take a bath and another Tylenol pm and get some sleep. We all felt it was a good plan and Eliecia and Sue went home to get some sleep in their own beds.

Well, 15 minutes after taking a tylenol and getting in the tub, the contractions became very real, very painful and 3 minutes apart. This was Monday night. And here things get very blurry. What I remember is a hodgepodge of moments, but the theme was that the contractions were very intense, I was exhausted, and I wasn't dilating at all. I got in and out of the bathtub and the birthing tub, and definitely lost my internal rhythm. Looking back, I think of it as being "over" or "under" the contractions -- if you picture them as a wave, some overwhelmed me and some I did better with. Anyway, I remember several discussions with the midwives about lack of progress. I remember that we tried laying down and I literally jumped involuntarily out of the bed at the first contraction. We tried standing up, walking around a little, etc.

We were first starting to consider transporting when my water broke. They tell me this was at 5am on Tuesday morning. We thought this would be the great turning point -- I was going to dilate and have this baby! But, alas, it was still not what we hoped. I was just not progressing.

The midwives discussed the option of transporting with us at this point. The baby's heart rate had showed a few minor dips (although oxygen and a change of position took care of those), I was beyond exhausted, throwing up, and mostly discouraged beyond belief at the lack of progress. Sue laid out the options for us and then said they would go away for about 45 minutes so Jeff and I could make the decision. I felt too weak to go on -- at home or at the hospital! That was the lowest point in my labor. They came back with one last idea to try to get progress going -- How about you and Jeff get dressed and go on a walk and get some fresh air? We did, and I believe that would've been the turning point had it happened earlier in the long labor. We got into a rhythm that was mostly unflappable by the intensity of contractions, even the back labor. We did a meditation including prayer and recitation of the 23rd Psalm and we got through each contraction beautifully in the park. Connecting with Jeff in that intense of a situation was one of the most incredible experiences of my life, and it's why I still say I wouldn't trade my long labor for the world.

But alas, the progress was too little, too late. No rhythm was able to overcome the fact that I hadn't held down food or liquid or slept since early Monday morning. When the baby started to show some early signs of fatigue we had another discussion about transporting to the hospital. This time, however, felt much different. I felt we were making the decision from a place of strength rather than desperation. I was handling labor, but we felt I could not "finish this" without getting fluids, food or sleep. We discussed the options and the risks and confidently made the decision to go to the hospital. At this point, though, I called my parents and asked them to come down and meet us at the hospital! All I could think was, "I want my mommy!"

The hospital staff at Chandler Regional was absolutely top notch from beginning to end. Sue called ahead so we could skip triage and go right into an LDR room. They hooked me up to an IV and started fluids right away. But I continued to throw up regularly and not dilate very quickly at all. I think at the time I got into the hospital I was at 5 cm -- after over 30 hours of hard labor!

Dr. Eddy came and spoke with us. He laid out the two possible reasons for the lack of progress -- either the contractions were not productive enough or the baby was too big. Option A would lead to Pitocin, and Option B would lead to a C-Section. He said he would like to try a monitor that would show the strength of the contractions. We agreed and he came in later to tell us that Option A was the problem. We decided we would try walking around the hospital a little to get things going, but if that didn't work I would go for an epidural to get some sleep and get Pitocin to move things along. Walking didn't help, so we opted for the epidural and Pitocin.

Such sweet sleep I have never had! And I woke up to find that I was dilating quickly (for me -- I guess it was about half as fast as "normal." Whatever.). Soon I had the urge to push and asked the nurse to check -- 9.5 cm! I asked for a few wet rags to clean myself up and mentally get ready for the big event. I put on deodorant and brushed my hair, and waited for the okay to push!

The pushing phase was long for everyone else (I think it was 2 hours), but very quick for me. And the rest is history.

Throughout all of this, we could feel everyone's prayers as they followed the blog. It was awesome to read the blog after the fact and see what Eliecia had requested on our behalf -- Nurses who were understanding of our desire to be as natural as the circumstances allowed and no interventions that would lead to a C-Section. Well, that's EXACTLY what we got! It was wonderful to see that those prayers were answered so clearly.

I don't know how to make a shorter story of this long labor, but here it is for those who have asked! Eliecia and Jeff -- feel free to comment with corrections where my memory fails.

This labor was difficult for me, but as you can imagine it was also (maybe more?) difficult for the wonderful people around me. Throughout the whole thing, Jeff was the rock of Gibraltar. He did not sleep either and only ate at Sue's suggestion. He was incredible, with me every second. And Eliecia was the best "almost doula" ever! She was there with encouragement and corn bags and updating the blog, and everything else. What a blessing. And Sue, our amazing midwife, was... amazing. She was not only incredible at home, but she was a stalwart advocate and partner at the hospital. Finally, Dr. Eddy. I am pretty sure that any other doctor in the world would've gone for a C-Section immediately, but he was patient and respectful of our wishes the entire way through. And he and Sue really respected each other and helped each other a ton! It was awesome to see.