What Works

A million tidbits rattling around in my head.... Must pick one....

By way of follow-up to my last post, I've decided to declare my guiding values as a parent. (I know you're all just waiting with baited breath for this.) This is what I will try to come back to when I have important decisions to make or feel terrible about a decision I've already made or a day we've had.

1. I will remember that I am an unfit mother. Shocking, I know. But one of the most basic aspects of my faith is the recognition that I can't "do my life." I am not self-sufficient, despite my desire to be so. I am entirely dependent on God to run my life. When I start to pretend I can do it myself, bad things happen. So I need to start there when mothering: I need to start with my need for help from God and others.

2. I will do what works for us. Our family is unique. And, as our amazing midwife Sue told me at our last appointment, we are the parents that God chose for Lilia. We know who we are and how we work together as a family better than anyone else. So we will take some, leave some, try some and re-evaluate regularly.

2. I will try not to judge myself. A parent (especially a mother -- have you ever heard one dad judge another for his parenting style or choices?) could spend her life feeling guilty or worried about her choices. OR she could spend it enjoying her life and her family. I will make every effort to choose the latter and to avoid listening to voices that encourage the former.

On that note, in case anyone loves sharing ideas as much as I do, here is what's working for us:

--The Moby Wrap. I wear this thing nearly every day, often for hours, and I love it.
--The swing. We have a very "up" kid. She likes to be held nearly all the time. But I do occasionally need to get things done that I can't do with the Moby Wrap on. The only place we can really get her to take a good nap is the swing. We are very grateful.
--The "EASY" method. I got this from a friend who got it from a book. It basically recognizes a pattern wherein babies tend to eat, have a period of activity and then sleep (the Y is for "you time" which is cheesy, but EAS isn't a word.). It's not something we push her into -- it's a natural pattern that works great for us.
--Lists. Every Monday Jeff and I sit down and make goals for the week in list form on a white board on our fridge. For me, it helps me prioritize things for myself and narrow down what I can and can't do, plus it gives me a sense of accomplishment about the things I can get done in a week.
--Cloth diapering. I far, far prefer the grossness of washing diapers to the grossness of blowouts. We had regular blowouts when we tried out disposables, and basically none in the cloth. I really, really love the cloth diapers. They also make the best burp cloths for us. And we have a very... spit-uppy baby.
--Making time for ourselves. We tag-team a lot. Not just so we can both get showers, but also so we can clean the house, work out and have time to ourselves. Means the world to us.

Those are a few things that work for us. What works for you?