I Surrender... All?

This last Sunday at church was pretty intense. The message series is all about giving up the idolatry of consumerism in favor of a simpler, more peaceful financial life. I would say it's obviously a well-timed message, although in the B-D household we've really worked hard at that for several years already. It was incredible to see how it hit people.

Jesus said, "You can't serve God and money" but I think most of us who have spent time "serving money" didn't know it at the time. You go out to dinner and a movie because you deserve it or it's someone's birthday and you feel bad, you put it on a credit card. Your car breaks down and you suddenly realize you should've had an emergency fund, but you didn't so you either put it on a credit card or, far worse, get all emotional and go finance another car because you "need something reliable." Suddenly you get this sick feeling when you open your credit card bill and you have no idea how you'll get out of it. You're worrying about money 24/7, calling your bank to see how close to zero your account is hovering, working just to pay for yesterday's purchases. You are truly serving money. And you don't even know how you got there.

In the category of "bottom line," one of my favorite truths is that Christianity is not about trying, it's about giving up. But (especially in our society) it's sometimes hard to see what you're holding on to! We we sang a song about surrender after the message, I realized that I have some surrendering to do that is not financial.

I've been really having a rough time with the situation of losing Jeff's family leave time as we go farther and farther past the due date with Lilia. We've tried every natural way to induce labor that we've heard of, prayed like crazy, and worried a lot. Well, especially me. I feel like a really good wife would move Heaven and Earth to find a way to get this baby out so she can spend important bonding time with her daddy.

But this isn't about trying harder, it's about giving up. God knows everything about Jeff's leave and his new position, our timing, my body and Lilia's. And in His infinite wisdom he has chosen a time for her debut that is not now. So I continue to work on surrendering all....