I love Bedtime.

Tonight I was putting Lilia to bed and I got to thinking about how far we've come in terms of bedtime. Our little baby used to scream, seemingly in pain, for minutes and even hours at bedtime. It broke our hearts into a thousand pieces and I was ready to tear my hair out trying to figure out why she cried like that! Also, even during the day she refused to be put down at all for any length of time-- probably for the first two months of her life she was actually in physical contact with me or Jeff every moment that she slept. Gradually we figured out that over tiredness was a major contributing factor, gradually we got into a naptime routine and a bedtime routine. All of this was out of necessity, because it was so sad to see her so thrown off by the whole thing!

So tonight as I read to her and sang to her and patted her and all the things I do every night, I started thinking about what a gift it is that she was so hard to put down. At various times I was ready to lose my mind about it, but in the end it has created so many special memories. Jeff and I have both learned to wear her around the house and out, we've learned to read her very well and know she's tired immediately, and I've prioritized taking an hour to go through our routine and put her to bed. And I will treasure those moments with her forever. We read Madeline, The Runaway Bunny, The Very Hungry Caterpillar, Mother Goose, The Bible in Pictures for Little Eyes. We pray for our night, for Daddy's ride home, for other friends and family members. We sing "All through the Night," "Amazing Grace," "Go to Sleepy Little Baby," and that creepy "Wolf 'a Growlin'" song that my mom sings and that works every time. We snuggle. And she doesn't scream anymore.

I wondered tonight what would've happened if I had had an "easy baby" that would just go to sleep or be fine with being put down. I think I would've missed all of this. It's funny how things go, isn't it? Looking back I wouldn't have it any other way.