Pearls

Our Christmas was simple and beautiful, just the three of us at home. We've hosted people for several years, so we missed that but it was also nice to just have it quiet with no real plan.

It was wonderful to have Lilia's first Christmas and I think I'll write another post about that, but the thing that floored me this Christmas was that Jeff, on our very modest budget, was able to procure my dream gift -- a string of real pearls!

A nice way to say it would be that I like classic things. Maybe less flattering would be what my friends say -- that I just want to be an old lady inside. Could be true.... But I love pearls. And more than that, I love these pearls. I don't like the kind of pearls that are the same size the whole way around the necklace (maybe I'm too short or pudgy for those?), I don't like perfectly white pearls, I could go on and on about the ways I'm picky about pearls. But I love these pearls. My pearls. He had some help from some very good elves, but the fact that my loving husband got pearls for me for Christmas is something I shall treasure forever. So far I've worn them every day (returning them carefully to their little box at night) and as of right now I intend to continue doing so for the rest of my life.

Our life just feels like a string of pearls right now and I am loving every minute of it. Almost.

Big Little Things

I am so filled up by everything. I've missed taking the time to reflect and blog, and I'm excited to have a little crack of time to do so this evening!

First, dinner. Jeff made me a belated birthday dinner (we scheduled this before my birthday -- he didn't neglect my birthday, there was just too much going on!). It was, as always, perfect. And his care in preparing it, as always, nourished my soul. Great food has always been a big part of our relationship. So to sit down with the most amazing husband in the world and eat duck, garlic mashed potatoes, artichokes and creme brulee brought back everything. Napa, New York, our first Christmas dinner on the floor under the tree, great restaurants, great plans, great wineries, the story of our love. I am struck, yet again, by the grace of God that He didn't let me miss out on my opportunity at a rare love.

We talked over dinner about how excited we are to be parenting Lilia Joy. We thanked God for her again in our prayers. One thing that I've thought of over and over in the recent days is the fact that I've been so blessed to be here for every moment of this precious time with Lilia. I'm going to miss this stage a lot, but it is a deep joy to know that I haven't missed a thing. Such a blessing to be able to be at home with my precious little baby girl! I've taken some pictures, but there are many more that will remain forever in my mind. Some "mental pictures" I've taken:

--Jeff and Lilia asleep, snuggled up together. They have the same mouth, positioned exactly the same way when they sleep. And wherever he is, she snuggles up close to him. But she doesn't have very good head control, so she ends up sort of tossing her head in his general direction. It's the sweetest thing!

--Lilia staring up into my eyes as I hold her. Again, she will throw her little head around until she's at such an angle that she can look right up at me.

--Taking a nap with her snuggled on my chest. She goes right to sleep. She's so trusting and loving already!

--Jeff and Lilia waking up in the morning. They often yawn together, stretch together, etc. My heart could explode, seeing the one love of my life reflected so perfectly in the other.

--Lilia trying to tell us things. Especially when she's crying. It makes me very sad to see her cry, but it's so sweet how she intently looks at us with her pleading eyes, like she just needs someone to listen.

--Her very serious "feeding face." Hands on each side, brow furrowed, eyes staring intently ahead, nose crinkled. I love it.

--Her yawns, which are always followed by a little expression with pursed lips, eyes closed and eyebrows raised.

--Her hands when she's calming herself down. One fist in her mouth, the other on her cheek or the side of her head. It's so cute!

--Her sudden sleepiness when you gently rub her head. Gets her every time.

There are so many more, but now I miss my baby too much to stay at the computer any longer.

You know the thing about me and change?

This is a general update that I sent out to our small group today. So much to process for my little pregnant brain!!!

Hey guys,

Just a few updates from the ever-more-lively life of the Brooks-Dowtys:

--Having more and more pre-labor contractions, including two periods of time where they got regular and then stopped. But they're getting more intense with every "false start" so we're thinking things are getting close on the baby front. YAY!

--PRAISE #1: I sat down with my contract and my paystubs earlier and figured out that my school still owed me like $2500 or so because they paid me based on 12 months, but I worked half the contact in 5 months. That may not make sense, but anyway I got a paycheck today from my school that I didn't expect, and they still owe me like $500 so I'm really excited about that!

--PRAISE #2: Y'know the job that Jeff applied for "just to get his name out there"? They offered it to him today. They needed to know right away so we discussed and calculated fast and he took it.

--PRAISE #3: The increase in base salary for the new position makes up for the lack of commission, which is what we were praying for, so it looks as though Jeff has been able to move out of sales for good and just be in tech support, and we have a workable one-income budget.

--PRAYER #1: The new position is a graveyard shift, from 10pm-7am. It makes us a little nervous to make that leap, but it's very likely that it's only for 6 months or so. It's just kind of a big 6 months while we have a brand new baby. Please pray that we can handle it and make reasonable choices about our life. The great news is he'll continue to be able to do church and small group.

--PRAYER #2: The training for this new position is Monday. So we're not sure how that works with Jeff's leave or whether he'll need to come in one extra day or what. Please pray that they have another training he can go to that's more like 2 weeks away.

This is all happening so fast and I just wanted to ask for everyone's prayer and support while we navigate it all. It's a lot of change in a small period of time!

***************************UPDATE*********************************

Jeff got into a February 2 training class!!! YAY! Now we need to have this baby....

Marriage, Illness, Donuts and Dependency

Yesterday was definitely a sick day. Sore throat, achy body, fatigue, just a general feeling of YUCK. I slept and watched movies for nearly the entire day.

Jeff was very concerned and called on his break to say, "Don't do ANYTHING today, okay? That means no dishes, no cleaning, nothing." He also came home to a white board full of things I was requesting that he pick up (including a prescription, toilet paper and donuts!), and a wife who was having trouble reaching the remote on the coffee table from the couch. He was such a trooper. He just went right back out after work with his list. He was so tired last night that he fell asleep on the couch in his dress clothes!

In these kinds of situations, Jeff has taught me so much about healthy interdependence. It's been very hard for me to learn that it's okay to need and accept help. Now I'm learning the next piece of the puzzle -- it's not just okay, it's good. It's how we build relationships based on trust, both with people and with God.

So last night I sat with the husband God gave me on the couch, wrapped myself up, and ate my donut. It tasted so sweet.

"I'd rather be miserable with you."

Ordinarily, Jeff is a rock. He doesn't get sick, ever. He has the immune system of steel, of which I'm very jealous.

But I think all the stress of the transition has weakened his immune system a little and yesterday he got a dreaded cold. Poor thing! He's so miserable! Congestion, fatique, sore throat, achiness, the whole nine yards.

The only thing I like about Jeff getting sick is that I have the opportunity to "baby him" in ways he otherwise may not exactly tolerate. ;) So this morning I made him Throat Coat tea, french toast, orange juice, muffins, and cut up an apple. And I heated him up a corn bag and got him all settled in for breakfast.

Over the table he looked at me with his bleary eyes and said, "I'd rather be miserable with you than healthy with anyone else!"

Made my day.

Bonus Post! One more thing....

Jeff called while I was in the middle of my last blog. I just have to memorialize the fact that that is the best moment of my day -- talking to the greatest husband in the world for 5 minutes on his break. Talk about gratitude....