This is a Blessing

Sometimes my days are so hard. I don't mean hard in that I don't want to do them, or tragic in any way. Just hard to finish. Like a long hike. Sometimes, if it's been a very long night, they're hard to start. Sometimes it's just hard to imagine getting up and doing everything that needs to be done -- all the diapers, the meals, the potty trips, the nursing, the dressing, the decision-making. Sometimes I'm on my knees before my day starts, begging God to let me be some kind of light to my children when I feel like I'm just... spent.

But then a light shines in and I can see things clearly.

Strange reference, but it reminds me of the movie "Knocked Up." The father involved is telling the soon-to-be grandfather about the unexpected child he's now expecting. He's devastated as he tells his father that this is a disaster. The grandfather responds by saying that an earthquake is a disaster, his mother having Alzheimer's to the extent she doesn't remember him is a disaster. This is a blessing.

So here I am tonight, exhausted and yet having a moment of clarity about what a blessing my life is. So many things are right with it. I am so loved and unconditionally accepted by my husband and kids. I'm so free to be exactly who I am. I get to raise my two favorite children in the world. I don't miss a thing.

This is a blessing. I'm so grateful to have it.