Oh Blog, Where Art Thou?

In the words of Ferris Beuller, "Life moves pretty fast." (And so does this blog post because I have like 5 minutes. No editing, no overthinking!)

My life has, in fact, moved so fast that it's been very difficult to keep up with. Much less keep up with and reflect on.

First, big news. We decided to buy a house. I know my Dave Ramsey friends might hate me for moving our student loans into Baby Step 6, but at least listen to how it happened first, okay? Okay. ;)

For nearly three years we've been telling ourselves no, no no on buying a house. No matter what the market, we have debt and we've been following the Dave Ramsey baby steps which say no house until you're debt free with an emergency fund. Throughout those 3 years we've made great progress on our debt, paying off all of our credit cards, loans from family members and our car. We've also made the transition from two incomes to one pretty easily. But our student loans are huge and will take us several years to pay off.

Three things happened at once to finally change our minds about buying a house: First, our apartment complex raised our rent again. Second, we discovered that a mortgage on a house in the area we want to live, with a yard and three bedrooms, would be somewhere in the neighborhood of $150-200 cheaper per month than our new rent (which is very competitive for the area), including tax, title and insurance. Finally, we learned of an $8,000 tax credit for first-time homeowners (hello emergency fund!) and a generous family member offered to pay most of our down payment. With all of these in mind I called two wonderful wise friends who are on Dave's plan and told them two things: We don't want to do something stupid and we also don't want to follow the plan like it's a religion. Talking to them confirmed our decision for us and we went looking for houses. We have an offer in on one and are waiting impatiently to hear whether it will be accepted. So bring on the wet noodles, but we really feel we've made the right decision for us.

So, that was craziness #1. Craziness #2 is that we took little Miss Lilia Joy on her first road trip. We went to California to Jeff's parents' house to see them and Jeff's brother and his family, and also saw about a million friends and family members while we were there. It was fantastic to see everyone, but very difficult to travel for poor Lilia. She was so out-of-sorts the whole time! Poor Papa and Meme seemed to get the brunt of it, but they were absolutely sweet about the whole thing. They didn't give a word of advice, but sympathized and reassured us that babies cry and it doesn't mean a thing about us as parents. We were reminded how much we want to be like them when we grow up....

Lilia's cousins were so much fun, and loved her so much. It was wonderful to watch! And of course there were the doting grandparents and aunt and uncle, and great-aunt and great-uncle, and Meme and Papa, and our old Gang from the 'ville, and a million others. I'll post pictures as soon as I get a minute!

My head is in so many places that my blog needs to catch up. So hopefully another post tomorrow.

In the meantime, head over to my husband's new blog!

Fabulous!

Jeff and I went to the library on Monday to get a movie (or 5) to watch together on our day off. On the way out, I noticed signs for a "Culture Pass," which is pretty much the best program I've ever seen.

Here's the deal:

• Each branch of the library gets a certain number of culture passes to each museum or site (Phoenix Zoo, Phoenix Art Museum, Arizona Science Center, Phoenix Children's Museum, many others).
• Each pass gives 4 free entries to the site.
• Each pass can be checked out for 7 days, nonrenewable.
• Each patron can only check out one pass every 7 days.

So we got the one to the Heard Museum West in Surprise so I can go there with my mom this week. FUN!

More big brownie points for the city of Phoenix!

The Sexiest Man Alive

Need I say more?

MOVIE review: "Amazing Grace"

I rarely review movies, but this one warranted it (by the way, if you're wondering why I like everything, it's because I prefer not to review books that I didn't like!).

The basic story of this movie is one of those truth-is-better-than-fiction stories. As I understand it, John Newton, the man who wrote the hymn "Amazing Grace," was a former captain of a ship that transported slaves from Africa. After his conversion to Christianity he eventually renounced the slave trade. When William Wilberforce came to him for advice as to whether he should continue a career in politics or enter full-time ministry, Newton advised him to do the work of God where he was, in politics, and he also helped Wilberforce in his successful 20-year campaign to end the slave trade.

This story is so beautiful and the movie does a fantastic job of telling it. The script and acting are outstanding -- not overly sentimental, but not too "documentary-like."

This is a must-see movie!

Did you call yet?

I urge anybody who reads this blog to educate themselves on the genocide that is currently happening in Darfur and to call their representatives by calling (800)GENOCIDE today.

Lilia

If they lined up all the babies, in all the world, I would choose you every time. You are my favorite baby. I love you because you're mine.

Book Review: The Macho Paradox

After reading this review in the journal of Christians for Biblical Equality, I had to go straight to the library and get this book. In the end, I was not disappointed. I've tried to write this review several times and failed because it's difficult to narrow down what I would like to say about this book. The whole of this book blew my mind. The pieces it connected were so familiar to me that I couldn't believe I'd missed the whole picture. And now the pieces are many and the whole picture is... difficult to describe.

One of my favorite quotes is from the movie "Anna and the King." Jodi Foster's character is teaching school and she says, "Most people don't see the world as it is. They see it as they are." Unfortunately I don't think I can describe this book as it is, so I will have to describe it as I am.

Most people know that I was in a verbally/emotionally/sexually abusive relationship before I married Jeff. Because of my past, women regularly share their stories of abuse with me. And because of their sharing I have begun to realize the scope of the effects of men's violence against women. When I was younger I thought that physical violence against partners, molestation, incest and rape were rare. Now I know better. (To give you an idea of the scope, you probably know more victims and perpetrators of men's violence than you do left-handed people.)

I've also long known about the vast pornography industry, which is often referenced as "bigger than Hollywood." I had no idea, however, that pornography is mostly violent and getting more so all the time. Apparently what sells in porn is not simply sex, but men's sexual violence against women.

Finally, I've had years of experience with subtle sexism -- objectifying women, ignoring women, and "keeping women in their place" in and out of the church. I've been told my many a well-meaning Christian about how women are equal-but-not-equal, and as such are intended to have less decision-making power than men in church and at home. And media portrayals of women don't help the situation at all.

I had never put these three things -- men's violence against women, pornography, and subtle discrimination against women-- together. It makes sense, doesn't it? What do they all have in common? A low view of women. A view that women are essentially different than men in that they don't want or deserve respect and will willingly give it up to gain approval. A view that women exist for the benefit of men. In fact, statistically, men who believe in "traditional gender roles" are far more likely to view pornography on a regular basis, to believe rape myths such as "Every woman secretly wants to be raped" and "When a woman says no she really means yes," and to physically abuse their wives.

In The Macho Paradox, Jackson Katz puts together a clear and convincing picture of a society that subtly and not-so-subtly promotes men's violence against women. He demonstrates how our culture defines masculinity as inherrently violent and femininity as "less than" and weak. Is it any wonder that the United States is more dangerous for women than any other industrialized nation in the world?

The Alyssa Review gives The Macho Paradox five stars for opening my world to a reality I'd never recognized, and I give Jackson Katz all the kudos in the world for being a man brave enough to stand up for equality for women.

Definitely a must-read.