Two Under Two

I no longer have two children under two! I just realized this like two days ago.

Lots of folks have asked me about how it was to have them so close together and I thought I should reflect while it's fresh.

So, here are all my reflections and all my unsolicited advice about having two children 18 months apart:

• I am SO glad we did it. I could not imagine it any other way. I thought it would take me several years to love it, but I actually enjoy it already.
• Some days are super hard. Early on we had a lot of those days. For us, having lots of help from family and friends early on was critical. For others, it works to do preschool or daycare once or twice a week for "Big Baby." If you're gonna do this, I recommend having an outstanding support system. We are blessed with incredible friends and family.
• We have been totally saved by babywearing. I find it much easier to get out of the house because I just strap Evan on and then Lilia can either walk or go in the stroller. He rarely fusses because he's where he wants to be, I don't need to worry and my attention can be focused on whatever Lilia's getting into at the moment. ;)
• Make a "no stress" zone in your house -- completely toddlerproofed so that you can nurse Little while Big plays without ever having to worry about Big getting into something frustrating. We gated off our front room so I could always have an eye on Lilia, even when Evan is nursing or whatever.
• We have found in talking to others with similar age gaps that jealousy is rarely a serious problem when they're this close together.
• Get Big into a predictable sleeping routine before Little comes! There are a million ways to do this and I'm not saying have a rigid schedule, but it's really nice to have ONE predictable baby. It is extraordinarily hard when both babies are having trouble sleeping through the night.
  
• Get used to having hard conversations with your spouse. Particularly conversations about strategies to meet everyone's basic needs for sleep and food and to keep your marriage alive and well through this phase. Excellent cooperation is essential.
• Learn how to get out of the house. This felt completely overwhelming to me for a while, but having a backpack diaper bag and a few other essentials was incredibly helpful and sometimes just going to the park is a total Godsend.