Scars, Stretch Marks, Body Image and Gender

I'm doing silly things like weighing myself and looking in the mirror. Foolish, I know, only 3 weeks after labor. But there it is. This morning I tried on my favorite black jacket. It didn't fit.

I started to develop some very negative feelings about my body and, thus, myself.

Then I thought again.

If we're honest, we admit that men are mostly valued for what they do and women for how they look. I think that's why a man with scars and a weathered face looks ruggedly handsome -- because it says he faced something difficult and came out of it on top. His body is tough! A woman with similar features would not be received the same way. In fact, women's bodies and faces are more highly valued if they look like they've been through nothing at all -- just look at the obsession with anti-aging products!

But today, as I reconsidered my negative impression of my post-baby body, I was struck by what it has done. This body nurtured a whole separate person for the better part of a year. In order to do that, it had to make some changes that seem, in retrospect, nothing short of heroic. Its abdominal muscles separated, without tearing, to make room for its uterus to grow to something like 15 times its original size. Its blood volume doubled. Its ligaments loosened. It even created an organ to feed the baby that only exists during pregnancy! It sustained itself and the baby through a very long labor and then went through more amazing changes to give birth. In fact, there's still a lot of mystery surrounding what triggers labor but my body just did it, without being told.

Now it passes on every antibody it develops to the baby through breast milk within 6 hours. It creates an appropriate amount of milk, balanced in calories, fat, and nutrients for my own baby. It releases hormones when I feed that tell the uterus to shrink back, and tell me to hold and love the baby. All of this and it can still walk and run and stretch and cook!

My body has done all of this and it has the stretch marks and scars to prove it. So, I'm going to make a commitment to have some respect for my "ruggedly beautiful" body. I will not disrespect it by insulting the size or shape of my belly, hips or thighs. I will exercise it and put lotion on it and feed it well because it faced something difficult and came out on top.

I will even put something in print that I've never said before:

I have a great body.

Anyone want to say it with me?