Jeff and I at my school's Winter Concert -- my last hurrah as a music teacher, for now.
Ordinarily at this point I would be grieving my break and gearing up for school to start back up on Monday. It's weird that I'm not and it's giving me a strange identity crisis. I didn't expect to feel this way, since I've wanted to be a mom for as long as I can remember. But here I am, wondering who I am and what I do now that I'm not a teacher.
I spent a long time yesterday thinking about this, first realizing that I feel an internal need to defend my choice. Then I realized that the fear behind it is that I'm resigning from the world -- no longer contributing at all.
But (and earlier than usual, I might add!) I prayed and read my Bible and listened to God. I realized something important: What I will do now is the same thing I did last month, and last year and the same thing I will do next year. I will follow God's calling on my life and serve Him in whatever way He asks. I have no idea what that means as the road turns and changes, but I do know that I am called to raise this baby as my next step. So I will do the next right thing.
1 comment:
Alyssa - you will still be teaching and contributing to the world - you will being helping to create a wonderful new person who will contribute and help make this world a better place. I can't wait to see what you will be like as a mom - because you have such a warm and loving personality that you tend to care for us all!
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